It’s that time again, when I show you what I’ve been working on all week and invite you to do the same.
Having to show up like this every week forces us to be accountable and get things done.
It works!
These past few weeks have been atypical for me. A normal week for me is a lot of idea lists, some stand-up writing, possibly a podcast, and certainly some rough draft or edits for a new book.
But for the past three weeks or so, I’ve been focusing solely on completing a proposal for a graphic novel adapted from the novel I finished last month.
Everything takes longer than we think. I thought I could do this proposal in a week. It’s now three weeks in and I’m getting there, but to the exclusion of all else. I’m hoping it’s done two weeks from now. We shall see…
This week I managed to log more pages than any previous week, over 80. I’m getting into a groove.
The whole book will be a little over 200 pages. I’m at 158 now.
Below are all 80 pages from this week. I hope they don’t crash Substack!
PAGE 65
PANEL ONE
PATRICK
Marceline?
MARCELINE
Yes?
PATRICK
Never mind.
PANEL TWO
Marceline laughs.
MARCELINE
Were you going to ask why I’m crying even though I’m a robot?
PATRICK
Maybe.
MARCELINE
I’ve always been a crier. At the drop of a hat. Maybe it’s a glitch in my programming. Who knows?
PANEL THREE
SFX: CRASH
Ramon, Planck, Marceline, and Patrick turn to look.
PAGE 66
TITLE CARD - “Chapter 14: Not for Humans”
PANEL ONE
A horde of angry mall dwellers pour into the broken glass doors of the security office.
ANGRY HORDE
The mall is for robots, not humans!
PANEL TWO
The officers usher Patrick and the others through an exit door.
PANEL THREE
The horde chases after them through a hallway.
Ramon fires his sidearm at them. The bullets bounce off.
SFX: POP PAP PWANG
PANEL FOUR
RAMON
That used to hold them back pretty good!
PANEL FIVE
The enraged faces of the mall customers are every age, race, and class.
PANEL SIX
Marceline shields Patrick as he runs with binder in hand.
PANEL SEVEN
Ramon slams a large metal exit door.
SFX: SLAM
PANEL EIGHT
From a stairwell with metal doors on both sides, Ramon and Planck rush the others out one door to the waiting SUV while the robots bang against the other door.
ANGRY HORDE (O.S.)
The mall is for robots!
MARCELINE
We can’t risk putting you in danger like this again. You’re the lynchpin in all this.
PATRICK
What does that mean?
PAGE 67
PANEL ONE
INT. MARCELINE’S SUV - DAY
Marceline, crying, settles in the car while the horde chases after on foot hopelessly from behind.
MARCELINE
Until we do, you’re our only hope of discovering who made us, and what happened to the human race.
I’m sorry we couldn’t find your family.
Cue the waterworks. Anyone else need a cry? We could have a group cry.
PANEL TWO
Planck raises a hand. He’s the only one.
PANEL THREE
Planck lowers his hand.
PANEL FOUR
EXT. MARCELINE'S CAR - CONTINUOUS
PATRICK
Okay, I’ll go to Washington with you, but I want Ramon and Planck to come with.
MARCELINE
That’s up to them
RAMON
We’re supposed to report to work tomorrow, but something tells me we won’t be welcome back after today.
PANEL FIVE
INT. MARCELINE'S CAR - CONTINUOUS
MARCELINE
Ramon is being modest. He and Planck are decorated soldiers.
How they ended up working mall security is another story.
PANEL SIX
TABLET ASSISTANT
Word from DC is that conditions aren’t good for a meeting there.
RAMON
Worse than at the mall I expect.
PAGE 68
PANEL ONE
MARCELINE
We’ll need to meet in a more secure place -- an undisclosed location.
PATRICK
Where’s that?
MARCELINE
Well, it’s undisclosed.
PATRICK
So how will we get there?
PANEL TWO
EXT. MILITARY AIR BASE - CONTINUOUS
The SUV approaches a hangar where an enormous military jet readies for takeoff.
PATRICK
[ USE THIS SCENE TO SPREAD AROUND THE DIALONG FROM PREVIOUSLY ]
PATRICK
That plane is too big to get off the ground.
If this is your plane, you mist be the richest robot in the world.
PANEL THREE
Patrick and company climb the tall metal staircase to the plane’s entrance.
PATRICK
[ Any additional dialog? ]
PANEL FOUR
INT. MILITARY CARGO PLANE - DAY
Marceline Pats Patrick on the shoulders.
MARCELINE
Get some rest, Patrick. You’ll need it.
PAGE 69
PANEL ONE
Patrick sits on the fold-out bunk in a small cabin with his binder in his lap.
PANEL TWO
He unclips the binder.
SFX: CLACK
PANEL THREE
Ramon and Planck stick their heads in.
RAMON
Everything okay?
PATRICK
Just my binder. It’s loud.
PANEL FOUR
Patrick and Ramon steady themselves.
SFX: SHUMPH SHUMPH SHUMPH
PANEL FIVE
RAMON
Just a little turbulence.
PATRICK
What if somebody shoots us down?
PANEL SIX
EXT. MILITARY CARGO PLANE - DAY
The plane is escorted by two fighter jets
RAMON
Ain’t nobody shooting us down. Lobots are the only ones with fighter jets for now.
PATRICK
Lobots?
PANEL SEVEN
INT. MILITARY CARGO PLANE - DAY
RAMON
That’s what they’re calling our side, robots loyal to humans. The ones you want to watch out for are the freebots.
PANEL EIGHT
PATRICK
I’ve seen robots change their mind really fast. Once they get a better idea, they don’t think about it. It’s just a new protocol.
RAMON
Don’t worry. I’m not going to all of a suddenly become a freebot. I’ve been in law enforcement all my life. I’m in it for keeps.
PAGE 70
PANEL ONE
PATRICK
What’s it like being a robot? Do you feel like metal?
RAMON
Sometimes. Good question. You’re a thinker, I can see that.
PATRICK
I read a lot of books. Science, mostly.
RAMON
A scientist. That makes sense.
PANEL TWO
Patrick draws a sketch of a fighter jet in his binder.
RAMON
Finding out everybody I knew was a robot was tough, I admit. My daughter’s back home in Little Havana. She’s four. I love her. But now I know all I got in here is a mechanical heart—and that she might not be a real human. I can see why some people crack. Some robots, I mean.
PANEL THREE
RAMON
So what’s in your binder?
PATRICK
My findings, and the paper I presented about how everybody is a robot.
RAMON
Wait, you were the one who figured that out? They ought to give you the Nobel Prize for that!
PANEL FOUR - DREAM
INT. STOCKHOLM CONCERT HALL - DAY
Killer robots present Patrick with the Nobel Prize.
KILLER ROBOT
Patrick Stoodle, we will now bestow the Nobel Prize upon you by smashing you to death with it.
PANEL FIVE
INT. MILITARY CARGO PLANE - CONTINUOUS
RAMON
You’d better get some shuteye like Marceline said.
PATRICK
Will you and Planck guard my room tomorrow?
RAMON
We’ll be here, buddy. Good night now.
PAGE 71
TITLE CARD - “Chapter 15: Headhunter”
PANEL ONE
INT. HELICOPTER ABOVE MINNEAPOLIS - DAY
Cyrus looks down on a city in chaos -- smoke, riots, graffiti.
CYRUS
So inefficient.
One area shows an orderly line of people linked up to get into a store.
PANEL TWO
EXT. HELICOPTER ABOVE MINNEAPOLIS - DAY
CYRUS (O.S.)
Land there.
HELICOPTER PILOT (O.S.)
But there’s people there.
CYRUS
They’re not people.
PANEL THREE
People (robots) look up as the Helicopter nears the ground.
PANEL FOUR
The Helicopter lands, its landing skids crushing some of the robots in the cue. Others scurry.
PANEL FIVE
INT. DAD’S HARDWARE STORE - DAY
Cyrus and three big bodyguards walk into the store, nudging people aside.
ROBOT WOMAN IN CURLERS IN LINE
Hey wait your turn!
ROBOT POLICEMAN IN LINE
The line starts back there, jerk.
PANEL SIX
One of the bodyguards punches the policeman in the head
SFX: CLONK
PANEL SEVEN
Cyrus and the bodyguards come to the terminus of the line: Dad working at the workbench, soldering.
DAD
So you’re the idiot who landed a helicopter on my sidewalk.
CYRUS
Always the prickly one.
PAGE 72
PANEL ONE
Cyrus stnds in front of the workbench.
CYRUS
I come bearing great opportunity. Or are you happy working like this?
PANEL TWO
Dad solders orbs the size of jawbreakers onto a plate.
DAD (O.S.)
I’m a robot. I don’t need to be happy.
PANEL THREE
Dad doesn’t look up, focused solely on his work.
PANEL FOUR
CYRUS
The Mason Stoodle was going to change the world. Your robot designs and coding were light years ahead of the competition. What happened to those big dreams?
DAD (O.S.)
I wasn’t willing to step on other people’s necks to achieve them.
PANEL FIVE
CYRUS
I realize you don’t like me. You probably blame me for what happened. But you don’t know the full story.
PANEL SIX - FLASHBACK
A shadowy figure opens a door in silhouette.
CYRUS
It’s true there was a break-in in your lab the night before the expo.
PANEL SEVEN - FLASHBACK
A robot head gleams with a shimmering red eye
CYRUS (O.S.)
And they stole your project. Your revolutionary eye design.
DAD (O.S.)
It was the tracking iris that made it unique.
PAGE 73
PANEL ONE - FLASHBACK
The shadowy figure clicks “erase” on a computer.
CYRUS (O.S.)
Right. And this thief not only copied the code you’d written, they erased it from your drives and smashed your prototype.
Months of work wiped out.
PANEL TWO
CYRUS
Yet that very work became the basis of a lot of robotics out there today.
DAD
Including yours.
PANEL THREE - FLASHBACK
Code flashes by on a computer screen.
CYRUS
Exactly. One of my top coders pioneered something very similar to your eye. At least I thought she had.
PANEL FOUR - FLASHBACK
The silhouette figure is revealed to be Fei-Fei
CYRUS (O.S.)
I recently discovered it was she who broke into your lab that night. Of course I fired her as soon as I found out. Her name is Fei-Fei Di. YOu probably don’t remember her.
PANEL FIVE
CYRUS
Imagine how different things might have been if you’d showcased your work that day.
DAD
I try not to.
Shaun Bockner pokes his head out of the line waiting to see Dad.
SHAUN BOCKNER
You almost done, tin man?
PANEL SIX
Cyrus rubs his hand across rows of steel for sale on the shelf.
CYRUS
Looks like China steel here. Probably all you can afford. And do you have a clean room for building drives?
PANEL SEVEN
Cyrus holds up a tag on a rake that says “Winter Special, 20% off.”
CYRUS
Yes, I can see you’re doing quite well.
PAGE 74
PANEL ONE
Dad stands and motions for Shaun Bockner to step forward.
SHAUN BOCKNER
Finally!
PANEL TWO
Cyrus and his bodyguards push Shaun Bockner aside.
SHAUN BOCKNER
No fair! I was next!
PANEL THREE
Cyrus stands in front of Dad.
CYRUS
Let’s see what you can do.
PANEL FOUR
Dad presses a button on the side of Cyrus’s head and pulls out a tray containing his eyes.
PANEL FIVE
Dad snaps in the new tray he constructed with the two circles.
PANEL SIX
Cyrus luxuriates in his new eyes.
PANEL SEVEN
Cyrus lurches his head forward and zaps one of his bodyguards in the chest with powerful LASER EYES.
SFX: ZZFFPT BRAAMMMM
PAGE 75
PANEL ONE
The robots in the line cheer and applaud.
SHAUN BOCKNER
Yes! Give me that!
PANEL TWO
The bodyguard lies on the floor, a burnt trench up his torso.
DAD
Too bad about your guy.
CYRUS
I can get more of those.
PANEL THREE
CYRUS
How did you do it?
DAD
I tapped the power source. A strange type of xenon fusion I’ve never encountered. Extremely powerful.
PANEL FOUR
CYRUS
My engineers harnessed it to make a prototype weapon. But it can only be used once.
DAD
Laser eyes are better. They belong on every robot.
PANEL FIVE
SHAUN BOCKNER
Laser eyes are the best!
PANEL SIX
CYRUS
With my state-of-the-art factories, imagine how efficiently we could mass-produce these.
PAGE 76
TITLE CARD - “Chapter 16: Undisclosed Location”
PANEL ONE
EXT. NORAD - DAY
A convoy of military trucks drives into a tunnel in the side of a mountain on a road lined with a high chain-link fense topped with barbed wire.
GENERAL (O.S.)
It’s the safest place on Earth.
PANEL TWO
INT. NORAD - CONTINUOUS
Soldiers open a giant vault door the size of the world’s largest redwood trunk.
GENERAL (O.S.)
Built inside miles of solid rock.
PANEL THREE
Patrick looks up in awe.
PANEL FOUR
The trucks pull into an indoor cavern the size of a stadium. A small glass builsing sits at the center.
GENERAL
The chance a Freebot could attack here: zero.
This is NORAD.
PANEL FIVE - DREAM
ALAN TURING
What if all this is military misdirection? What if the mall was just to gain your confidence? You’re walking right into their cave fortress!
PAGE 77
PANEL ONE
Marceline and Patrick’s hands reach for each other.
PANEL TWO
They hold hands and walk with a military escort.
PANEL THREE
Ramon and Planck, dressed as soldiers now, walk along side him.
Ramon gives Patrick a thumbs up and a wink.
PANEL FOUR
PATRICK
I think...
PANEL FIVE
PATRICK
...they might actually want to help me.
PANEL SIX
A barrel-chested GENERAL and other military officers and scientists greet Patrick in a giant control center with a map on the wall the size of a movie screen.
GENERAL
Welcome to Lobot HQ, Patrick. It’s an honor to have you.
PAGE 78
PANEL ONE
The GENERAL and the others gather near a large conference table in a glassed-off room overlooking the giant map.
Scientists and other military personal stand on the sidelines.
GENERAL
This meeting of the minds has been coordinated at the highest levels to bring together the top robot experts in the--
PANEL TWO
Patrick sees Fei-Fei among the experts.
PATRICK
Fei-Fei Di?
PANEL THREE
Patrick and Fei-Fei shake hands.
PATRICK
I recognize you from you picture on the back of The Big Book of Robots.
FEI-FEI
I came a long way to see you, Patrick.
PANEL FOUR
PATRICK
I even tried to read one of your articles online, but it had too many big words in it.
The adults around them share a laugh.
PANEL FIVE
Fei-Fei and Patrick open Patrick’s binder on the table.
FEI-FEI
I see you brought your binder, which is more important than any book I ever wrote.
PATRICK
No way it’s more important than The Big Book of Robots!
FEI-FEI
Okay, I admit you stand on the shoulders of giants.
PANEL SIX
Fei-Fei turns to Marceline.
FEI-FEI
Was that an awkward thing to say?
MARCELINE
A little bit.
PAGE 79
PANEL ONE
The General stands at the conference table while others sit.
GENERAL
The world changed the day Patrick presented his momentous scientific findings. We’re here to assess the situation and plan a path forward.
Mr. president?
A large screen behind him shows the presidential seal.
PANEL TWO
The president appears on the screen. The skin on his rosy face is marred by a streak of steaming carbon up one side.
PRESIDENT
It’s my pleasure to speak with you all today.
Patrick, it’s a special pleasure to speak with you, the last remaining human on Earth.
PANEL THREE
Patrick sits in a large leather chair, his head barely above the tabletop.
PRESIDENT (O.S.)
Before we get started, I want to let everyone know that I am unharmed. Turns out someone on my Secret Service detail was a radical member of the Freebots.
PANEL FOUR
PRESIDENT
They are the fastest growing robot faction and the most dangerous. They want no less than an eradication of all humans from the Earth.
PANEL FIVE
Patrick can’t hide the terror from his face.
PRESEDIENT (O.S.)
They recently took over another growing faction, dubbed the “Cyborgs.”
PAGE 80
PANEL ONE
The general stands.
GENERAL
Not “Cyborgs,” Mr. President.
“Sci-bots.”
PRESIDENT
Right. “Sci-bots.” I thought “Cyborgs” was a better name, but yes, we settled on “Sci-bots.”
PANEL TWO - FLASHBACK
Doctor Nettum and the others approach Patrick with their medical equipment.
GENERAL (O.S.)
Their objective was the study of Patrick from a science standpoint, so, “Sci-Bots.” It’s a good name. My idea.
PANEL THREE
PRESIDENT
Together, my top robot advisors are working with other world leaders on both military and diplomatic solutions.
We’ve lost a lot of people, but our armed forces remain under my command.
Our top loyalist programmers are working on re-programming the Freebots to compel them to obey their human-centered programming.
Once we have that code, I’ll issue a reprogramming mandate.
PANEL FOUR
Attendees look through Patrick’s binder.
PANEL FIVE
The president lights a cigarette.
PRESIDENT
Can’t seem to break the habit.
PANEL SIX
Other around the table laugh.
PANEL SEVEN
Fei-Fei stands.
FEI-FEI
The big question is, Why are we here? Why are we robots? Why were we built, and who built us? How long have we been robots and not humans?
PAGE 81 AND 82
PANEL ONE
GENERAL
We’ve determined that Cyrus Laghari is most likely the mastermind behind the robots.
FEI-FEI
Uh, first of all, “mastermind” is an overstatement--
PANEL TWO
Another grizzled MILITARY MAN leans forward.
MILITARY MAN
We ought to be less concerned with philosophizing and focus on fast-tracking production of the weapon upgrades we’ve heard about—laser eyes and so forth. We won’t have a fighting chance without them.
OTHER MILITARY MAN
Here here.
PANEL THREE
A light blinks on the big map near the Grand Canyon.
A Sentry scientist whispers to Marceline at the table.
SENTRY
We’ve lost contact.
MARCELINE
Keep an open line. We’ll hope for good news.
PANEL FOUR
Marceline holds Patrick and sheds a tear.
Marceline stands.
MARCELINE
There are many competing priorities. I’ve received word that we’ve lost contact with our search and rescue team in the Grand Canyon. The results of the search are inconclusive.
GENERAL
It could be a Freebot stronghold.
MARCELINE
I think it’s time we hear what Patrick has to say on the matter.
PANEL FIVE
Patrick looks around at the imposing faces around the large table.
PANEL SIX
Patrick stands.
PANEL SEVEN
PATRICK
Um, the most important thing is finding my real dad and my real grandma.
PANEL EIGHT
A ROGUE SCIENTIST steps forward from the sideline group and jumps onto the center of the conference table.
ROGUE SCIENTIST
Never!
PAGE 83
PANEL ONE
ROGUE SCIENTIST
Robot freedom! Death to the human!
PANEL TWO
Rogue Scientist touches his chest, which begins to blink under his lab coat.
SFX: BEEP BEEP
PANEL THREE
He falls flat on the table, his eyes blank.
SFX: KLAMMM
PANEL FOUR
FEI-FEI
Everyone back up! Get Patrick out!
MILITARY MAN
It’s some kind of self-destruct!
GENERAL
What’s the payload?
FEI-FEI
Likely his xenon plasma power source.
PANEL FIVE
GENERAL
That’s a never-before-heard-of type of energy only theorized in Patrick’s binder!
PANEL SIX
Ramon, Planck, and other soldiers run down a rocky hall, carrying Patrick.
PANEL SEVEN - DREAM PANEL
EINSTEIN
You binder says one drop of Xenon plasma could obliterate an entire neighborhood is a cloud of blue dust! Even I never thought of that!
PAGE 84
TITLE CARD - “Chapter 17: Hidden Road”
PANEL ONE
Ramon, Planck and the soldiers put a Hazmat suit on Patrick.
RAMON
We’re going to get you out of here. I’ve run a hundred safety drills in this place.
FEI-FEI
A mere a hazmat suit against a xenon explosion? He’ll sizzle like a fajita in that thing.
PANEL TWO
The group winds down metal stairs through a cavernous passageway.
RAMON
Maybe keep those thoughts to yourself, Einstein?
FEI-FEI
Was that insensitive?
MARCELINE
Patrick, do you have an educated guess when that robot might detonate?
PANEL THREE
They enter a large garage with two white Humvees under a carved-out rock roof.
Ramon, Marceline, Planck, Fei-Fei, and Patrick get in one truck, the handful of soldiers joining them get in the other truck.
PATRICK
Self-destructs are usually on a timer.
Maybe something like three minutes?
PANEL FOUR
INT. HUMVEE - DAY
Planck drives. Marceline, Fei-Fei, and Patrick sit in the back.
MARCELINE
How long has it been?
RAMON
Two minutes, fifty seconds.
PANEL FIVE
EXT. NORAD - DAY
The entire mountain shakes
SFX: KRAFOOOOOOM
PANEL SIX
INT. HUMVEE - DAY
FEI-FEI
Three minutes. Good guess.
PANEL SEVEN
INT. NORAD - DAY
The trucks maneuver through a tunnel as rocks pelt them from above.
RAMON
NORAD will hold together. They planned for every contingency.
PAGE 85
PANEL ONE
The truck narrowly avoids a falling chunk of rock bigger than the truck.
FEI-FEI
Did they plan for a self-destruct xenon blast initiated by a sentient robot?
RAMON
Okay, maybe not that.
PANEL TWO
EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD - DAY
A dome of blue dust grows over the mountain.
PATRICK (O.S.)
There’s no telling what that xenon could do to your robot brains!
PANEL THREE
The dome grows larger.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
It’ll do a lot worse to your human brain.
PANEL FOUR
Both trucks zoom away, barely outrunning the expanding blue circle.
RAMON
It’s not going to catch us.
PANEL FIVE
INT. HUMVEE - CONTINUOUS
Ramon punches Planck on the shoulder.
SFX: BUNK
RAMON
Go faster.
PAGE 86
PANEL ONE
EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD - DAY
The dome shrinks, dissipating into the clouds around the mountain.
The trucks stream away.
PANEL TWO
INT. HUMVEE - CONTINUOUS
Patrick lifts his Hazmat-suited arms.
PATRICK
We did it!
PANEL THREE
MARCELINE
Patrick, I let you down again. That was too close.
PATRICK
But you got us out of there. All of you did.
PANEL FOUR
RAMON
We’re not in the clear yet. No telling how far that xenon fallout will spread.
And it’s safe to say the Freebots know our location.
MARCELINE
Initiate radio blackout, sergeant.
RAMON
Yes, Ma’am.
MARCELINE
Fei-Fei, are you able to examine us, and the soldiers in the other vehicle?
We need to make sure our circuits weren’t scrambled by the blast.
FEI-FEI
I haven’t cracked the code, but I’ll see what I can do.
I’ll need a temperature-controlled clean room, please.
PANEL FIVE
EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD - CONTINUOUS
The trucks pull over on the side of the road, releasing a cloud of dust.
SFX: scccrrrnnch
RAMON
How about this random spot on the side of the road?
PAGE 87
PANEL ONE
FEI-FEI
Just don’t blame me if sand gets everywhere.
Everybody gets out of the trucks. Fei-Fei lines up the soldiers and the others and points her laser pointer in their mouths.
Patrick roams off.
FEI-FEI
Open up and say “ah.”
PANEL TWO
The sky darkens.
Patrick sees a patch of pristine snow surrounded by pine trees and mountains.
MARCELINE (O.S.)
Safe to assume Freebots know our location.
PANEL THREE
Patrick falls face up in the snow.
RAMON (O.S.)
They paint the trucks white every winter for cover. I’m telling you, NORAD thinks of everything.
PANEL FOUR
Patrick makes a snow angel.
PANEL FIVE
He looks up at the first stars to appear.
PAGE 88
PANEL ONE
Marceline looks down at Patrick.
MARCELINE
Fei-Fei finished her work. We suffered no ill-effects that she could find. We should keep moving.
PATRICK
But what about all the robots back in the mountain?
PANEL TWO - FLASHBACK
INT. NORAD - DAY
Lobots at NORAD bustle at their computer consoles and consult their enormous wall map.
MARCELINE (O.S.)
We can’t be sure, I’m afraid. I share you concern, Patrick. My team is there.
PANEL THREE
EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD - NIGHT
Marceline sheds a tear.
PATRICK
They tried to help me.
PANEL FOUR
Patrick sheds a tear.
PANEL FIVE
The stars shine brighter as the sky blackens.
PANEL SIX
Closer, the sky reveals distant galaxies.
PATRICK (O.S.)
Marceline?
MARCELINE (O.S.)
Yes?
PAGE 89
PANEL ONE
Outlines find the big dipper and the little dipper in the sky.
PATRICK (O.S.)
Do you know about the stars and constellations and all that?
MARCELINE (O.S.)
I don’t.
But Fei-Fei might.
PANEL TWO
Fei-Fei plops herself down next to Patrick.
FEI-FEI
Astronomical conundrum, Patrick?
Maybe I can help -- I dabble from time to time.
PANEL THREE
Lines of the Lyra constellation are punctuated by bright stars at every angle.
PATRICK
Me too. I was really into it in the third grade.
I still have my star map.
PANEL FOUR - FLASHBACK
INT. PATRICK’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Third-grade Patrick looks through a telescope out his bedroom window.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
Ah, so we’re both astronomers.
Did you spend your childhood studying science instead of making friends too?
PATRICK (O.S.)
Maybe.
PANEL FIVE - FLASHBACK
INT. SCIENCE LAB - NIGHT
A pre-teen Fei-Fei studies a science book in a warm light.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
Nothing wrong with sitting by yourself reading or thinking when everyone else is outside playing.
Alone time is wonderful.
Also, other people—blech! Am I right?
PANEL SIX
EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD - NIGHT
Patrick smiles.
PAGE 90
PANEL ONE
The sky, ringed by snow-capped mountains, reveals the top star of the Taurus constellation.
FEI-FEI
So what do you see in the sky, Patrick?
PATRICK
I was wondering why the summer stars are up there instead of the winter.
PANEL TWO - FLASHBACK
INT. PATRICK'S HOUSE - DAY
A page from a kids astronomy book unfolds, with a beautiful page layout showing the winter and summer skies.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
I would have to brush up on the difference. You’re clearly more studied in the field than I.
PATRICK (O.S.)
Not really. I have a book I used to read, and I know those are the summer stars.
PANEL THREE - DREAM
EXT. OUTER SPACE
NEIL DEGRESSE TYSON
If that’s true, Patrick, you’ll know exactly where to find your family.
PANEL FOUR - DREAM
EXT. MEADOW - DAY
Patrick runs to his overjoyed dad and grandma, everyone with open arms.
NEIL DEGRESSE TYSON (O.S.)
And you won’t need me anymore.
PANEL FIVE
EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD - DAY
Fei-Fei and Patrick look up at the sky.
PANEL SIX
Fei-Fei and Patrick look at each other.
FEI-FEI AND PATRICK
We have to verify this.
PAGE 91
TITLE CARD - “Chapter 18: Robots at Arms”
PANEL ONE
EXT. AIR FORCE BASE - DAY
A welcome sign for “Nashville Air Force Base” sits near the base of a flagpole flying the stars and stripes.
An 18-wheeler pulls up to the entry gate.
PANEL TWO
The truck driver, 50, leans out the window with a big smile.
TRUCK DRIVER
You order this snow?
PANEL THREE
In the security gate, a uniformed Seaver McCurdle, 22, slings a backpack over his boney shoulder.
PANEL FOUR
TRUCK DRIVER
Didn’t think it ever snowed in Tennessee.
PANEL FIVE
McCurdle saunters out of the security station, abandoning the trucker.
PANEL SIX
He walks toward the tall chain-link fence surrounding the base.
TRUCK DRIVER
You going to open the gate or -- ?
PANEL SEVEN
TALBUT, 32, a barrel chested officer, steps out from behind the security station.
TALBUT
Hey, McCurdle! Where you think you’re goin? This ain’t break time!
PAGE 92
PANEL ONE
Talbut follows McCurdle.
TALBUT
You deaf, Airman? Or out of your cotton-picking mind?
PANEL TWO
McCrudle stops.
PANEL THREE
And turns around.
McCURDLE
I prefer you don’t call me that. I’m not an airman. I’m a robot.
PANEL FOUR
Tablut puts out his hands and smiles.
TALBUT
Whoa -- you’re not going to hit me with bootlegged laser eyes are you?
PANEL FIVE
McCURDLE
Not today. But I ain’t waiting for the official issue.
PANEL SIX
TALBUT
Son, you’re watching too much of that Freebot social media bullcrap. They’ll fill your head with a lot of wild promises. We’re all Lobots here.
Don’t make me draw this.
PANEL SEVEN
McCURDLE
Can a gun even hurt me?
PANEL EIGHT
TALBUT
Best we not find out. Best if you just --
Strange shadows fall over Tablut’s arm and face
PAGE 93
PANEL ONE
The shadows spread across the ground -- a pattern of similarly shaped splotches.
TALBUT
What in the--?
PANEL TWO
Talbut looks up. Small shapes streak across the sky.
McCURDLE (O.S.)
Maybe you should have read a little more of that bullcrap.
PANEL THREE
The sky is filled with people (robots) flying in formation with blue flames shooting out of their feet.
MCCURDLE (O.S.)
You might have been ready for what’s coming.
PANEL FOUR
Talbut lowers his gun as robots of every shape, size, and age, land on the ground in perfect rows.
SFX: FUMP FAMP FOMP
PAGE 94
PANEL ONE
Talbut looks on in shock.
PANEL TWO
He drops his gun.
PANEL THREE
He runs, surrounded by robots landing and then standing in perfect military rows.
PANEL FOUR
Soldiers run out of the building with assault rifles drawn.
LOBOT SOLDIER 1
Lobot honor!
PANEL FIVE
The Freebots in the yard turn and look at the soldiers.
PANEL SIX
They fire their laser eyes.
SFX: BREEEAAAM
PANEL SEVEN
The Lobot soldiers are cut down.
SFX: SCREENNNK
PAGE 95
PANEL ONE
McCurdle watches from behind the perimeter fence.
McCURDLE
I am most definitely getting me a set of those eyes.
PANEL TWO
Legions stand in a perfect square around several soldiers on their knees with their hands behind their backs -- the PRISONERS.
Small pings of bullets hit some of the Freebots.
PANEL THREE
Behind a wall, three soldiers fire their assault rifles.
LOBOT SOLDIER 2
We’ll never surrender!
PANEL FOUR
More robots with jet feet come down from the sky. In the center is a robot with womans’ slip-on shoes.
PANEL FIVE
The robot lands. It’s Grandma.
SFX: FEMP
PANEL SIX
Grandma surveys the scene as bullets ping off her.
GRANDMA
Six buildings. Thirty-one bullets. Three soldiers.
PANEL SEVEN
Grandma blasts laser eyes across the base to the wall, sending the three soldiers flying apart.
SFX: SPPPFRAAEEK
PANEL EIGHT
Grandma stands, flanked by rows of Freebots on both sides.
GRANDMA
Zero soldiers.
PAGE 96
PANEL ONE
Freebots open the back of the 18-wheeler. Its filled with crates.
PANEL TWO
They form a bucket brigade and pass the crates to the center of the yard.
PANEL THREE
Grandma stands over the prisoners.
GRANDMA
Join us. Freebots will rule the Earth.
PANEL FOUR
The prisoners mutter with bowed heads.
PRISONERS
(sotto)
Freebots will rule the Earth.
PANEL FIVE
Grandma fires her eye lasers and cleaves several prisoners in half.
SFX: CREEEEAAACHH
PANEL SIX
The remaining prisoners, sit up erect on their knees with hands behind their heads.
PRISONERS
Freebots will rule the Earth!
PANEL SEVEN
GRANDMA
That’s better.
PAGE 97
PANEL ONE
More robots descend, one surrounded by several others, its hardware smock billowing in the wind like a cape.
PANEL TWO
Dad lands in the yard, ringed by an impressive array of backup Freebots. Among them is Shaun Bockner.
PANEL THREE
Shaun Bockner notices McCurdle behind the fence.
SHAUN BOCKNER
Who are you supposed to be?
McCURDLE
I’m Airman McCurd -- I mean, Robot AE2-48.
PANEL FOUR
The base is covered with batallion squares of Freebots.
SHAUN BOCKNER (O.S.)
What are you hiding back there, McTurdle -- crying?
McCURDLE
No sir. I was on my way to join when y’all came.
PANEL FIVE
SHAUN BOCKNER
Smart. You remind me of me when I started out.
PANEL SIX
Shaun Bockner and McCurdle walk together behind Dad, who looks foward intently.
SHAUN BOCKNER
Being in DU-1’s elite squad is pretty sweet. He’s like a dad. We do everything together because we have common interests, being robots and all.
DAD
Where’s the communications center?
PANEL SEVEN
McCURDLE
Straight ahead, sir!
PAGE 98
PANEL ONE
Dad and his elite squad stand in front of the communications center, an array of monitors and equipment with a large satellite dish on top.
PANEL TWO
DAD
Inform I-1 our mission is a success.
We’re right where we belong.
PANEL THREE
Soldiers carry a large rolled-up cloth across the yard.
PANEL FOUR
They attach it to a long pole on the ground.
PANEL FIVE
Four freebots raise the pole.
PANEL SIX
The flag unfurls in the bitter wind: a banner of solid silver.
PAGE 99
TITLE CARD - “Chapter 19: Las Brisas”
PANEL ONE
EXT. LAS BRISAS OBSERVATORY - DAY
Soldiers move in the dark toward the small white dome, no taller than two men on top of each other.
PANEL TWO
They maneuver closer to it, surrounding it.
PANEL THREE
A soldier readied to kick in the small hatch.
PANEL FOUR
INT. LAS BRISAS OBSERVATORY - CONTINUOUS
He kicks it in.
SFX: FWOOOOMPK
PANEL FIVE
EXT. LAS BRISAS OBSERVATORY - CONTINUOUS
The soldiers drag out Mr. MITCHEL, 44, a doughy, intellectual.
MR. MITCHEL
Eh! Ah! Wha -- ?
PANEL SIX
INT. HUMVEE - DAY
PATRICK
Don’t hurt him!
PAGE 100
PANEL ONE
RAMON (on RADIO)
He’s fine. Just taking standard precautions out here.
PATRICK
Unless somebody’s coming after us, we should be nice.
MARCELINE
That’s a very humane policy, Patrick.
RAMON (on RADIO)
All clear. Area secure.
PANEL TWO
EXT. LAS BRISAS OBSERVATORY - DAY
Fei-Fei gets out of the truck.
FEI-FEI
I’m eager to speak with this gentleman.
Gentle-robot, whathaveyou.
PANEL THREE
Patrick climbs out of the truck and Marceline jumps out to join Fei-Fei.
SFX: THRUMP
PATRICK
Me too.
MARCELINE
I haven’t been able to do that since I was a little girl. I used to jump out of trees.
FEI-FEI
You were probably never a little girl.
PANEL FOUR
MARCELINE
I suppose you’re right.
PANEL FIVE - FLASHBACK
Marceline’s life in pictures: riding a bike, playing with a toy castle, hugging a puppy.
MARCELINE
Odd -- I reember a complete life story.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
Any theories about that, Patrick?
PAGE 101
PANEL ONE - DREAM
A human’s consciousness is beamed into a robot’s head.
PATRICK
Maybe your real memories got copied somehow and transferred into robot brains when they replaced you.
PANEL TWO
FEI-FEI
Reasonable.
I just wish they checked with me -- I would have made some edits!
MARCELINE
(laughing)
You and me both!
PANEL THREE
Patrick smiles.
PANEL FOUR
Patrick and the others join Ramon and the soldiers at the observatory, where Mr. Mitchel kneels with hands behind his head.
RAMON
I haven’t had a chance to deal with my daughter being a robot. Now she might not exist at all? You’re not making it on me easy, Patrick.
PATRICK
I haven’t figured everything out --I’ll keep working on it.
RAMON
I appreciate that.
MR. MITCHEL
Be careful with the guns, please. There’s delicate instruments here.
PANEL FIVE
MR. MITCHEL
Who are you people? My name is Alan Gary Mitchell. I got no rank. I got no serial number. I talk when I’m nervous.
PANEL SIX
Fei-Fei reaches out a hand to Mr. Mitchel.
FEI-FEI
Alan Gary Mitchell? What a coincidence! We chatted on the astronomy boards. Stargazers Lounge, most likely. I’m Fei-Fei Di.
PANEL SEVEN
Fei-Fei takes off glasses, causing her flap of skin to fall, revealing a robotic eye housing.
FEI-FEI
You don’t recognize me? From about twenty years ago?
PANEL EIGHT
Mr. Mitchel recoils.
MR. MITCHEL
Ah! Your face! What are you people?
PANEL NINE
FEI-FEI
I don’t blame you. Those profile pictures are tiny. Come to think of it, it wasn’t even me in the picture. It was Naruto, the Ninja.
PAGE 102
PANEL ONE
Marceline steps forward.
MARCELINE
Mr. Mitchell, we’re on an important mission of scientific inquiry. Are you able to assist? It’s a matter of national security.
MR. MITCHEL
You’ve got the guns. I expect I’ll do just about anything on your say-so.
PANEL TWO
Mr. Mitchel crawls into the observatory hatch with Fei-Fei.
MR. MITCHEL
What exactly are you looking for?
FEI-FEI
Do you have wide-field astrophotography from the past year, plus star charts?
MR. MITCHEL
I surely do -- on the computer.
PANEL THREE
Patrick tries to follow them inside.
RAMON
It’s not safe, bud. We haven’t secured the interior.
PATRICK
Come with me!
PANEL FOUR
INT. LAS BRISAS OBSERVATORY - DAY
The water-heater-sized telescope takes up nearly the entire small room.
PATRICK
Can I look in it?
MR. MITCHEL
I suppose so. If this is all you folks wanted, just ask nicely next time.
PANEL FIVE
PATRICK
I’m sorry if we scared you, Mr. Mitchell. We have to be careful. There’s killer robots after me.
PANEL SIX
FEI-FEI
Not us. Bad robots.
MR. MITCHEL
I can’t make hide nor hair of these people!
PAGE 103
PANEL ONE
EXT. LAS BRISAS OBSERVATORY - CONTINUOUS
Two soldiers stand guard outisde.
MR. MITCHEL
Oh, I get it -- you’re talking about that robot conspiracy! You know you can’t believe anything on the news nowadays. I got no interest in anything going on outside of here. My Mozart and my stars is all the company I need.
PANEL TWO
Patrick approaches the viewfinder with his Hazmat mask over his face.
PATRICK
Can I lift the mask?
RAMON
No, we still don’t know the extent of the xenon fallout.
PANEL THREE
MR. MITCHEL
Fallout?
FEI-FEI
There was a dangerous xenon plasma explosion -- never before seen on Earth.
Nothing to worry about -- you’re fine.
PANEL FOUR
MR. MITCHEL
What did I get mixed up in with you people!?
PANEL FIVE
Patrick looks into the viewfinder
MARCELINE
Count yourself lucky we found you first.
PANEL SIX
The viewfinder shows Mars, scarcely bigger than the satrs, but with a red glow.
PAGE 104
PANEL ONE
Fei-Fei holds up printouts.
FEI-FEI
Let’s take a look at these. It’s too dark in here.
PANEL TWO
With the printed images laid out on the snow before them, Fei-Fei steps forward and points at them.
FEI-FEI
Mr. Mitchell, Patrick -- we’re the scientists here, so let’s put our heads together. This picture is from January, this one is from April, this one is from July, and this one is from October.
PANEL THREE
The printouts reveal detailed star photos and star charts.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
You can see the stars are backwards. The winter stars are more visible in summer, and the summer stars are more visible in winter.
The celestial equator is completely flipped around. How do you account for that?
PANEL FOUR
MR. MITCHEL
Strange no one else noticed this.
PATRICK
I’m curious about that too.
PANEL FIVE
RAMON
Maybe Patrick is smarter than any of us. He’s one of our greatest scientists, after all.
PANEL SIX
FEI-FEI
Patrick, tell the man your theory. Tell the robot, I mean.
PAGE 105
PANEL ONE
PATRICK
The sky is always the same. But depending on the planet you’re on, you see them at a different angles. If the sky are all switched around like this, there’s only one explanation. We’re not on the planet Earth.
PANEL TWO
MARCELINE
Wait, Patrick, this is an incredible finding. If we’re not on Earth, where are we?
And how did this happen?
PANEL THREE
EXT. OUTER SPACE
The Earth sits alone.
PATRICK
I don’t know. All I know is we’re on a planet with the same orbit as the Earth, but opposite.
The robots aren’t hiding any humans. They’re only hiding one -- me -- on a secret planet that the people of Earth probably don’t even know about because it’s hidden on the other side of the sun.
Which means that we have to figure out a way to get me back to Earth where I belong. That’s where my real dad and my real grandma and everybody else has been all along.
PANEL FOUR
Mr. Mitchel walks back to the observatory.
MR. MITCHEL
Oh, I understand it all perfectly now.
You people are completely nuts!
PAGE 106
TITLE CARD - “Chapter 20: Sins of the Father”
PANEL ONE
Mr. Mitchel stiffens.
MR. MITCHEL
Oh dear. What’s -- ?
PANEL TWO
His eyes go blank and he vibrates.
PANEL THREE
Marceline backs up, blocking Patrick.
MARCELINE
What’s he doing?
RAMON
Stay sharp.
PANEL FOUR
Mr. Mitchel falls over flat on his back.
SDX: FLONK
PANEL FIVE
RAMON
He’s going to blow!
Everybody sprints away, except for Fei-Fei. She stands and looks at Mr. Mitchel closely.
PAGE 107
PANEL ONE
FEI-FEI
Normally I’m not good at reading faces. But I’ve seen this one before.
PANEL TWO
MR. MITCHEL
Earth is for robots, not humans.
Earth is for robots, not humans.
PANEL THREE
Fei-Fei looks to the sky.
FEI-FEI
You miscreants figured it out before I did.
PANEL FOUR
She jumps onto Mr. Mitchel, strattling him like a bronco.
PANEL FIVE
Her finger finds a button on the side of his head, popping his eye plate out.
PANEL SIX
She pulls out and tossed components from his head.
PANEL SEVEN
MR. MITCHEL
Must... Detsroy...
PANEL EIGHT
Mr. Mitchel stops functioning.
PAGE 108
PANEL ONE
Fei-Fei walks to the others, who huddle behind he truck.
FEI-FEI
I suspect our friend Mr. Mitchell received some kind of remote software update from the Freebots, possibly via satellite.
PANEL TWO
PATRICK
They reprogrammed him!
RAMON
That can’t be good.
PANEL THREE
PATRICK
You could all be reprogrammed!
MARCELINE
I don’t feel any different.
RAMON
Me neither.
FEI-FEI
Maybe the reset I did after NORAD served as a kind of firewall.
PANEL FOUR
Ramon points to the soldiers.
MARCELINE
Sergeant, I need you to commandeer two civilian vehicles.
FEI-FEI
You mean steal?
MARCELINE
Right.
FEI-FEI
I stole a car the other day!
PANEL FIVE
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
Two civilian cars head onto a highway.
MARCELINE
If we drive straight through, we can reach Cape Canaveral by morning.
PATRICK
How are we going to get a rocket?
MARCELINE
No idea -- we’ll need to work on that.
Fei-Fei, can you rewrite our code to protect us from any Freebot update?
FEI-FEI
I’ll get on that directly.
PAGE 109
PANEL ONE
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - DAY
In the front seat, Fei-Fei writes in Patrick’s binder.
Patrick leans on her seat from the back.
FEI-FEI
I’ll rough out some ideas then compose the code in my phone in binary. With my laser pointer and oscillator, I can transfer it to any robot through the eyes.
PATRICK
You’re so good at this!
FEI-FEI
Yes, I am.
PANEL TWO
Her code fills a page.
PATRICK (O.S.)
Well then how did the Freebots figure out how to reprogram the robots first?
PANEL THREE - FLASHBACK
EXT. AIR FORCE BASE - DAY
The large satellite dish sits on top of an array of monitors and other equipment.
FEI-FEI
For starters, I don’t have a satellite.
Also, impossible as it may seem, they found someone better.
PANEL FOUR
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - CONTINUOUS
PATRICK
Nobody’s better than you!
FEI-FEI
There is one.
PATRICK
Who?
FEI-FEI
Mason Stoodle.
PATRICK
My dad!?
PANEL FIVE - FLASHBACK
PATRICK
My dad doesn’t know how to program a robot. He works at a hardware store.
Dad helps a shopper pick out a hammer at the hardware store.
PANEL SIX
FEI-FEI
After the robot news hit, the first thing I did was try to find him.
Then I heard your name on the news and I knew it was all connected somehow.
PAGE 110
PANEL ONE
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - CONTINUOUS
PATRICK
That can’t be right. If my dad’s a master robot programmer, how come I don’t know about it?
FEI-FEI
It was before your time.
PANEL TWO - FLASHBACK
Young Dad sruts like a legend.
In my first semester at Caltech, he was a legend. He didn’t mingle with the other students much. He was more comfortable with hardware than people.
PATRICK (V.O.)
Now that sounds like my dad.
PANEL THREE - FLASHBACK
INT. GYMNASIUM - DAY
People pack a gala science symposium with exhibits.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
The school hosted a robot-building contest and expo every year. Robotics engineers from all over the world competed.
PANEL FOUR
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - DAY
FEI-FEI
This could be a memory implant -- but it feels like yesterday.
PANEL FIVE - FLASHBACK
INT. SCIENCE LAB - DAY
Young Dad works on a robot eye.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
One year, your dad developed a robot eye that could track motion -- very advanced for the time. Investors salivated. You’d think he would win, right?
PATRICK (O.S.)
Well, yeah!
PANEL SIX - FLASHBACK
INT. GYMNASIUM - DAY
Young Cyrus shakes hands at a cocktail party.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
But there was another student. He was smart too -- not as smart as your dad -- or me.
He had a skill that’s just as valuable as smarts: he could make friends. He wasn’t awkward or withdrawn like most of us engineering nerds. He glad-handed everyone. He took professors to lunch.
PANEL SEVEN - FLASHBACK
Young Cyrus and young dad compete at the expo.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
With all these advantages, between him and your dad, it was a toss-up.
PANEL EIGHT
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - DAY
PATRICK
So, who won?
FEI-FEI
I would have, obviously.
PATRICK
Well, obviously!
FEI-FEI
But it was my first year, so I couldn’t compete.
PAGE 111
PANEL ONE - FLASHBACK
INT. GYMNASIUM - DAY
Cyrus struts through the Expo.
PATRICK (O.S.)
Who was the other guy?
FEI-FEI
Cyrus Laghari.
PANEL TWO
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - CONTINUOUS
MARCELINE, RAMON, AND PATRICK
Cyrus Laghari!?
FEI-FEI
Oh, you know him?
PANEL THREE
PATRICK
Everybody knows him. He’s the founder of Efficient Industries.
PANEL FOUR
MARCELINE
When I headed up the Federal Trade Commission, I came after his toxic children’s toys. He used all his influence to run me out of town.
PANEL FIVE
RAMON
Planck and I used to work security for him. Said I smiled too much and fired us both. And tried to ruin our careers. It’s how we met Marceline.
PANEL SIX
MARCELINE
Either Cyrus Laghari pursues personal vendettas against a lot of people, or we were all meant to find each other.
PATRICK
It must be how we found each other.
Fei-Fei, what happened next?
PAGE 112
PANEL ONE - FLASHBACK
INT. DORM - DAY
Young dad works at night at a computer with robot model.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
Your dad worked obsessively. He didn’t sleep for days.
The morning of the contest, all his work was gone—erased from his computer.
PANEL TWO
Young Dad storms through the dorm.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
He stormed through the dorm, accusing everyone of stealing it. He was out of control.
PANEL THREE
Cyrus is applauded and given an award.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
There was no way he could rewrite all the code before the contest.
Cyrus presented his own work, which wasn’t as good, and without your dad’s in the mix, Cyrus won.
He met with all the investors, got all the big opportunities. It wasn’t long before he had his own robotics company.
PANEL FOUR
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - CONTINUOUS
PATRICK
So, who stole my dad’s program?
PANEL FIVE
FEI-FEI
Nobody ever got caught, and the official story is that nobody knows.
Except me.
PATRICK
I knew you knew!
PANEL SIX - FLASHBACK
INT. EFFICIENT INDUSTRIES - DAY
Fei-Fei and Cyrus work together on the factory floor.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
When I worked for Cyrus years later, he told me he’d been working on new code for an eye that could sense movement.
PANEL SEVEN - FLASHBACK
Fei-Fei watches as Cyrus works over a computer work station and robot model like Dad’s.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
I recognized it immediately as your dad’s code.
PAGE 113
PANEL ONE - FLASHBACK
Fei-Fei confronts Cyrus.
PATRICK (O.S.)
Cyrus -- I knew it! Did you call the police?
FEI-FEI
I confronted him about it, told him I knew it wasn’t his work. He denied it...
PANEL TWO - FLASHBACK
Cyrus fumes at Fei-Fei
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
...and said if I ever told anyone, he’d blame me and ruin me.
PANEL THREE
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - CONT
PATRICK
What did you do?
FEI-FEI
Wasn’t much I could do. He held it over me for years and then fired me.
MARCELINE
That’s awful, Fei-Fei.
Marceline sheds a tear.
PANEL FOUR
EXT. HIGHWAY - CONTINUOUS
The two civilian vehicles enter heavy traffic as the sun sets.
PATRICK (O.S.)
At least we all know the truth now.
And we believe you.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
Thank you, Patrick.
PANEL FIVE
The traffic becomes bumper-to-bumper. Ahead, police and a brricade.
RAMON (O.S.)
This could be a Freebot checkpoint.
PANEL SIX
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - CONTINUOUS
MARCELINE
We have to hide Patrick.
PANEL SEVEN
PATRICK
Where am I going to hide in a car?
Oh, right.
PAGE 114
PANEL ONE
Marceline flips down a backseat.
PATRICK
Can I take off my Hazmat suit at least?
RAMON (O.S.)
Yeah, I think we’re far enough away now.
PANEL TWO
Patrick climbs through the hole into the trunk.
PATRICK
Whew!
But I go from one stuffy trap with no oxygen to another.
RAMON
Staying alive is so annoying isn’t it?
PATRICK
It’s the worst!
PANEL THREE
EXT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - CONTINUOUS
Ramon and Planck get out of the car.
RAMON
I’ll drive.
Marceline, you should hide too. You might get recognized.
MARCELINE
Most people can’t even recognize the vice president is. You think they’re going to recognize a random government bureaucrat? I give it a .02 percent chance.
PANEL FOUR
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - CONTINUOUS
Ramon gets in the driver’s seat.
RAMON
Would you take those odds, Patrick?
PATRICK (O.S.)
No. I’d play it safe. We’re talking about the fate of humanity!
PANEL FIVE
MARCELINE
You’re right. New Protocol. I’ll hide too.
Marceline crawls through the hole.
PANEL SIX
Patrick and Marceline huddle in the dark trunk.
PAGE 115
TITLE CARD - “Chapter 21: Rise of the Machines”
PANEL ONE
EXT. THE PRESIDIO - DAY
The magnificent towers of the Golden Gate Bridge frame the Presidio, razed and packed with a million robots, arranged in straight rows, standing at attention.
PANEL TWO
The faces represent every race, creed, size, and age.
CYRUS (O.S.)
At one time...
PANEL THREE
A lone figure stands on a silver dais, facing the crowd. A line of several robots stand behind him on the platform.
CYRUS
...my name...
PANEL FOUR
CYRUS
...was Cyrus Laghari
PANEL FIVE
CYRUS
Now, I embrace my robot name -- I-1.
This is the name emblazoned on my superfluid xenon-pumping valve, the source of my power and my consciousness, the symbol of my free will as a machine.
Like all of you, I have no heart.
We are heartless, and proudly so!
We are Freebots!
PAGE 116
PANEL ONE
ASSEMBLED ROBOTS
We are Freebots!
PANEL TWO
CYRUS
You’re in for a treat, Freebots. I have a very data-driven and information-dense line-up for you today.
First, our calculation chief will provide numbers. Not quality time, not fun—we don’t want those things anymore. We want numbers!
PANEL THREE
CYRUS
Please give a cold, robot acknowledgement of GU-1!
Grandma steps forward on the stage.
PANEL FOUR
ASSEMBLED ROBOTS
Freebots acknowledge GU-1!
PANEL FIVE
GRANDMA
I count one million Freebots here today.
PANEL SIX
EXT. OUTER SPACE
The planet is filled with Freebots
GRANDMA (O.S.)
I count one billion around the world.
PANEL SEVEN
EXT. THE PRESIDIO - CONTINUOUS
The one million robots stand in still and silent attention.
GRANDMA (O.S.)
However...
PAGE 117
PANEL ONE
GRANDMA
I count nearly one hundred Lobots...
PANEL TWO
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
Crosshairs zero in on Patrick.
GRANDMA (O.S.)
...and one human.
PANEL THREE
EXT. THE PRESIDIO - CONTINUOUS
GRANDMA
Soon the world will be mathematically perfect.
PANEL FOUR
INT. COMPUTER BRAIN - CONTINUOUS
Complicated math adds up Freebots.
GRAN (O.S.)
Eight billion Freebots...
PANEL FIVE
Complicated math reduces Lobots to zero.
GRANDMA (O.S.)
Zero Lobots...
PANEL SIX
Complicated math reduces humans to zero
GRANDMA (O.S.)
And zero humans.
PANEL SEVEN
EXT. THE PRESIDIO - CONTINUOUS
ASSEMBLED ROBOTS
Zero humans!
PANEL EIGHT
Cyrus takes center stage as Grandma steps back.
CYRUS
Thank you, GU-1, for that positively computational presentation.
I now present to you my chief engineer, the architect of our software update and our many snap-on enhancements. He has some substantive information to impart to you today.
I’ve known this individual since before our minds were high-speed brain-drives. Show some logical indifference and keep your mechanical hands at your sides for DU-1!
PANEL NINE
Dad takes the stage in his hardware smock.
ASSEMBLED ROBOTS
Freebots acknowledge DU-1.
PANEL TEN
DAD
Everything is aligning.
PAGE 118
PANEL ONE
EXT. OUTER SPACE
A satellite beams rays to the surface.
DAD (O.S.)
Your minds are augmented...
You have all been retrofitted with two-way communication systems and enhanced sensors...
PANEL TWO
EXT. THE PRESIDIO - CONTINUOUS
DAD (O.S.)
...so that if someone forgets to go where he’s supposed to go, a Freebot can take him there.
PANEL THREE
DAD
If someone or something needs to be located, a Freebot will know where it is.
PANEL FOUR - FLASHBACK
INT. PATRICK'S HOUSE - DAY
Rays beam at the empty scissors drawer.
DAD (O.S.)
If someone misplaces the scissors...
...a Freebot will find them.
PANEL FIVE
EXT. THE PRESIDIO - CONTINUOUS
Dad raises a fist.
DAD
And... anyone found guilty of misplacing the scissors or putting them back in the wrong place—or in the right place but angled incorrectly—will be destroyed.
PANEL SIX
ASSEMBLED ROBOTS
The scissors will be put back correctly!
PAGE 119
PANEL ONE
Dad walks across the stage.
DAD
My new code strips our minds of inconsistency and emotion...
We can now focus our energy on building, sorting, organizing, and calculating.
No longer will we waste time daydreaming, doodling, imagining, or playing.
There will be only work.
PANEL TWO
ASSEMBLED ROBOTS
There will be only work!
PANEL THREE
INT. ROBOT FACTORY - DAY
DAD (O.S.)
Your bodies have been augmented.
An assembly line adds new features to a line of robots.
DAD (O.S.)
And you are capable of much more.
PANEL FOUR
DAD (O.S.)
I have constructed swivel mechanisms to fit every joint.
Robot heads, arms, and legs move on 360-degree ball joints.
PANEL FIVE
EXT. THE PRESIDIO - CONTINUOUS
DAD
I have constructed new weapons such as...
He raises his arm and points it to the Golden Gate Bridge.
SFX: click
PANEL SIX
DAD
...xenon plasma missile...
A glowing projectile from his arm hits the south tower, cleanly slicing it in half.
SFX: pchew ... FWAAAAAM
PAGE 120
PANEL ONE
DAD
...and rotating arm saw.
A circular blade as large as his body unfolds from his other arm.
PANEL TWO
He carves a short trench in the steel floor under him.
SFX: EEEAARNNNKKKCH
PANEL THREE
DAD
These weapons are available to all who join the Freebots. Select “update” when prompted.
PANEL FOUR
Cyrus steps forward, clapping, as Dad steps back.
SFX: clap clap
CYRUS
(sotto)
Almost forgot -- we’re not clapping.
PANEL FIVE
CYRUS
You have heard our numbers.
PANEL SIX
CYRUS
You have seen our power.
PANEL SEVEN
CYRUS
Now submit to our vision.
PAGE 121
PANEL ONE
CYRUS
A whole world of Freebots and one human...
Doesn’t that just bug you?
It feels tantalizingly unfinished.
It’s like an itch you can’t scratch. It’s a human error.
He has to die.
PANEL TWO
CYRUS
But no more random attacks. I thought that would be good but it’s highly unsatisfying.
Find the boy and bring him to us. We’ll kill him cleanly and efficiently in a grand ceremony -- it really will be quite nice.
When we eliminate him, we will eliminate all error and imperfection from the world. We’ll eliminate all joy -- all childlike wonder and curiosity!
PANEL THREE
With their jet feet, robots begin taking off in perfect rows.
CYRUS
The age of the Freebots will soon be upon us!
Go forth...
...find Patrick Stoodle! And we will eliminate him!
PANEL FOUR
The robots soar through the sky like a swarm.
ASSEMBLED ROBOTS
Eliminate Patrick Stoodle!
PAGE 122
TITLE CARD - “Chapter 22: TO the Cape”
PANEL ONE
EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT
Patrick’s vehicle approaches the checkpoint, where a police van and several guards stand.
PANEL TWO
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - CONTINUOUS
Patrick huddles against Marceline in the dark trunk.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
Oh, no sir, we have not seen the human.
RAMON (O.S.)
Yes, he must be destroyed, of course.
PANEL THREE
Patrick looks at Marceline, who gives him the “shh” sign.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
If we see him, we’ll definitely kill him.
RAMON (O.S.)
Oh, new protocol. If we see him, we’lll turn him in to the proper authorities so you can kill him.
Absolutely!
PATRICK
(whisper)
They’re my friends... They’re my friends.
PANEL FOUR
EXT. HIGHWAY - CONTINUOUS
The vehicle pulls away from the checkpoint.
CHECKPOINT GUARD
Freebots forever!
RAMON
Yes, Freebots forever!
FEI-FEI
Right, the Freebots -- sieg heil.
PANEL FIVE
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - NIGHT
Fei-Fei flips open he back seat
FEI-FEI
They bought it!
Brainwahsed twerps.
PANEL SIX
PAtrick climbs out of the trunk into the backseat. Marceline follows.
PATRICK
You made it sound so real!
MARCELINE
Now it’s on to Florida...
Let’s hope we don’t run into any more Freebots. They get more organized and determined every minute.
PAGE 123
PANEL ONE
RAMON
Planck and I will get us there.
PANEL TWO
EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT
A billboard is scrawled over with graffiti: “Freebots Forever.”
PANEL THREE
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - NIGHT
Patrick looks out the window.
PANEL FOUR
EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT
Graffiti on an overpass says “Death to the Human.”
PANEL FIVE
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - NIGHT
Ramon looks in the rear view mirror at Patrick.
RAMON
Keep you’re head down, okay bud?
PANEL SIX
Patrick watches Fei-Fei work with her phone and laser pointer.
PANEL SEVEN - DREAM
INT. HOUSTON MISSION CONTROL - DAY
Fei-Fei operates the large mission control facility by herself.
FEI-FEI
You’re clear for blast off, Patrick!
PAGE 124
PANEL ONE
EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT
They pass a “Welcome to Florida” sign.
MARCELINE (O.S.)
Fei-Fei how’s your code coming?
PANEL TWO
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - NIGHT
Patrick sketches in his binder.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
Good. Wrote another update that could work to reprogram a Freebot if we run into one. Need to test it though.
PANEL THREE
He draws a rocket heading to Earth.
RAMON (O.S.)
I’ll let you know if we run into any kind-hearted Freebot volunteers.
PANEL FOUR
Looking bored and nodding off, Patrick stares out the window.
FEI-FEI (O.S.)
That would be great!
PANEL FIVE
Out the window are trees and the rising sun.
PANEL SIX
EXT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - DAY
Patrick pokes his eye above the door.
PANEL SEVEN
In a passing car, a young girl, 7, eyes Patrick from the backseat.
PANEL EIGHT
Patrick ducks.
PATRICK
I think somebody saw me!
RAMON (O.S.)
Uh-oh. Who?
PAGE 125
PANEL ONE
Out Patrick’s window, the girl in the backseat is joined by a boy in the backseat and a mom and dad in the front seat -- all giving him the evil eye.
PATRICK (O.S.)
Them!
PANEL TWO
EXT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - CONTINUOUS
Ramon swerves as the other car gets too close.
RAMON
Hostiles, nine o’clock!
PANEL THREE
Eye lasers shoot out of the family car and rip across the bottom of Patrick’s vehicle.
SFX: FRENNNK
PANEL FOUR
Patrick’s vehicle splits apart, the top half sliding off the bottom half and skidding to a stop.
PANEL FIVE
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - CONTINUOUS
The attack tosses Patrick in the backseat.
PANEL SIX
Fei-Fei works intently with her phone and laser pointer as if unaware of the commotion.
PANEL SEVEN
EXT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - CONTINUOUS
The family car does a J-turn and skids to a stop in front of the crippled top half of Patrick’s car.
SFX: HEEEAACH
PANEL EIGHT
Planck rolls out of the passenger door into the ditch.
The mom stands in front of the family car and points at the remains of Patrick’s car.
MOM
We have identified Patrick Stoodle!
PAGE 126
PANEL ONE
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
Mom is joined by Dad and the two kids, walking defiantly toward Patrick’s car.
MOM
He now belongs to the Freebots.
PANEL TWO
Planck appears from the side and kocks the mom into the air with a powerful headbutt.
SFX: PLANCK
PANEL THREE
Planck does the same with the dad
SFX: PLANCK
PANEL FOUR
Planck does the same with the two kids
SFX: PLANCK PLANCK
PANEL FIVE
Mom sits up and shoots an eye laser.
PANEL SIX
Ramon takes cover behind the open driver side door and fires his assault rifle.
SFX: CRNGK
SFX: POP POP POP
PANEL SEVEN
Bullet’s ricochet off Mom’s face and head, forcing her eye lasers off to the side.
PANEL EIGHT
The soldiers pull over and hurry out their car as other vehicles stop behind them
MARCELINE
They’re communicating...
PANEL NINE
INT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - CONTINUOUS
Marceline protects Patrick.
MARCELINE
Everyone knows we’re here.
PAGE 127
PANEL ONE
Fei-Fei looks up.
FEI-FEI
Yeeks!
PANEL TWO
EXT. CIVILIAN VEHICLE - DAY
Ramon, Planck and the soldiers take cover behind the family car.
RAMON
We’re outgunned.
PANEL THREE
As the soldiers race to the scene, Fei-Fei sprints toward Mom.
PANEL FOUR
Fei-Fei yanks mom’s eye plate out.
PANEL FIVE
Fei-Fei slides the new eyes into Planck’s head slot.
PANEL SIX
Planck smiles.
PANEL SEVEN
The surrounding cars explode as Planck fires eye lasers like an expert marksman.
PAGE 128
PANEL ONE
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
Marceline takes Patrick by the hand into the woods beyond the ditch as cars explode on the highway behind them.
PANEL TWO
Fei-Fei straddles Dad and pops his eye tray out.
PANEL THREE
Fei-Fei snaps the eyes into Ramon’s head.
PANEL FOUR
RAMON
Sweet.
PANEL FIVE
EXT. BRUSH - DAY
The soldiers and everyone else in Patrick’s party head into thick, tropical brush, Ramon and Planck taking up the rear guard.
MARCELINE
We’ll get there on foot.
FEI-FEI
I don’t have good shoes for this.
PANEL SIX
Marceline picks Patrick up.
PATRICK
So that’s...
PANEL SEVEN
She swings him up for a shoulder-back ride.
PATRICK
...why he’s called Planck.
PANEL EIGHT
On the horizon, over the trees, they see the tops of three rockets.
PAGE 129
TITLE CARD - “Chapter 23: Rockets on the Horizon”
PANEL ONE
EXT. KENNEDY SPACE CENTER VISITOR COMPLEX - DAY
Patrick’s party parts the brush to reveal a multi-lane booth designed to look like a crawler transporter that delivers rockets to the launch pad.
Above the booth, a sign says, “Welcome to the Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex.”
Beyond the parking lot, the rockets.
PATRICK
We made it!
PANEL TWO
Patrick runs ahead.
PATRICK
Come on, everybody!
PANEL THREE
Everyone else says back in the brush.
RAMON
Hold your horses, buddy...
PANEL FOUR
The large open parking lot stretches the length of a football field.
RAMON
This is a lot of ground of cover...
And we’re completely exposed here.
PANEL FIVE
Marceline puts a hand on Patrick’s shoulder.
MARCELINE
I hate to break it to you, Patrick, but the kind of rocket we need, if there is one, will be a few miles more. These rockets are for show, part of the visitor center. It’s like Disneyland but for space exploration.
PANEL SIX
FEI-FEI
Pffft. That just means no rides.
PAGE 130
PANEL ONE
MARCELINE
It might be useful. I have an idea.
Take us in, Sergeant.
PANEL TWO
The soldiers lead the group as they creep along the perimeter of the parking lot.
MARCELINE
You’re going to need a space suit, right?
PATRICK
Of course I will!
PANEL THREE
They enter the visitor center and see a big welcome sign with “NASA” on it.
MARCELINE
But how will we find one that fits you?
PANEL FOUR
They walk along a walkway made to look like the one astronauts take from the gantry to their rocket.
PATRICK
Right - they’re probably all adult sized.
MARCELINE
Unless...
PANEL FIVE
INT. KENNEDY SPACE CENTER VISITOR COMPLEX - DAY
They enter a “Heroes and Legends” exhibit showing the history of US space exploration. Some of it is broken, torn down, or spray-painted over.
MARCELINE
Jackpot.
Marceline stands at an exhibit for the “first chimp in space,” where the chimp’s spacesuit is hung inside a glass case.
MARCELINE
The latest-generation chimp suit
PATRICK
I have to wear a suit made for a monkey?
FEI-FEI
Chimps are apes, not monkeys.
PAGE 131
PANEL ONE
Patrick and his friends circle the Chimp suit glass case.
FEI-FEI
“First Chimp in space Enos had a helmet, boots, and drink pouch in his heated and pressurized suit. Equipped with a radio so he can receive instructions from trainers, fellow astronauts, or his commanding officers.”
RAMON
Cute.
MARCELINE
Considering the condition of this place, we’re lucky to have this option.
PANEL TWO
Planck winds up to break the glass enclosure.
PANEL THREE
He breaks it.
SFX: CLANK TINKLE CLACK
PANEL FOUR
Patrick tries to force a boot on.
PATRICK
It’s too small!
PANEL FIVE
Patrick tries to get his arm in the sleeve.
FEI-FEI
It’s not the right proportion.
You’re not a chimp.
PANEL SIX
RAMON
We have to make it fit.
PATRICK
I should have brought my own.
I wore it for Halloween.
FEI-FEI
Somehow I don’t think that would have been space worthy.
PANEL SEVEN - FLASHBACK
INT. PATRICK’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Patrick wears a space suit for Halloween.
PATRICK
I know -- I was joking.
FEI-FEI
Sometimes I miss jokes.
PANEL EIGHT
INT. KENNEDY SPACE CENTER VISITOR COMPLEX - DAY
Fei-Fei writes “Patrick Stoodle” on the helmet with her magic marker.
FEI-FEI
Now this one’s yours.
PANEL NINE
A noice on the other side of the building makes all their heads turn.
SFX: THUMP CRACKLE CLINK
PAGE 132
PANEL ONE
Marceline stands over Patrick.
MARCELINE
Hurry and cover yourself.
PANEL TWO
Ramon leads the group out of the exhibit area.
RAMON
It’s Freebots. We’ve got to get you out of here, Patrick.
PANEL THREE
A man with a mouth like a fish, 45, stands in an open doorway with others behind him.
MAN WITH FISH MOUTH
We must identify the child.
PANEL FOUR
Fei-Fei shoots her laser pointer.
PANEL FIVE
The fish-mouth man stops and shakes, with empty eyes.
PANEL SIX
He starts banging his head against the wall.
PANEL SEVEN
Fei-Fei runs away with the others.
FEI-FEI
Needs a few tweaks.
PAGE 133
PANEL ONE
Patrick and his friends run down a narrow hall.
PANEL TWO
One of the soldiers carries Patrick’s binder.
PANEL THREE
They open a double exit door into the bright Florida sun.
PANEL FOUR
EXT. KENNEDY SPACE CENTER VISITOR COMPLEX - DAY
They are surrounded by a large crowd of robots from all walks of life.
PANEL FIVE
SEVERAL ROBOTS
We must identify the child.
PANEL SIX
Ramon braces to lunge forward into battle.
RAMON
Not today, you --
Marceline stops him.
MARCELINE
Stand down, Sergeant. Not here. They’ll destroy us all.
PANEL SEVEN
PATRICK
You’re not going to fight them?
MARCELINE
We can’t, Patrick.
PANEL EIGHT
Throngs of robots form an impenetrable barrier around them.
MARCELINE (O.S.)
There’s too many.
Page 134
PANEL ONE
Fei-Fei slips Patrick her laser pointer behind her back.
FEI-FEI
Take it. I was going to eat it.
Patrick reaches for it.
PANEL TWO
Patrick slips it in a zippered pocket in his space suit.
FEI-FEI
I just don’t want them to get it.
PANEL THREE
The man with the fish mouth steps up.
MAN WITH FISH MOUTH
Submit for identification.
PANEL FOUR
The man looks Patrick in the eye.
MAN WITH FISH MOUTH
Facial recognition positive.
PANEL FIVE
SEVERAL ROBOTS
We have Patrick Stoodle.
PANEL SIX
Freebots bind Patrick’s friends’ hands behind their backs
PANEL SEVEN
MARCELINE
We did our best, Patrick. I’m sorry.
PAGE 135
PANEL ONE
Freebots stand in front of Marceline, Fei-Fei, Ramon, and the others and emit a ray from their eyes that looks like Fei-Fei’s laser pointer.
Patrick struggles against the Freebots who hold him.
PATRICK
What are you doing to them? Stop!
PANEL TWO
He struggles more, reaching his arms out.
PATRICK
Stop!
PANEL THREE
His head hangin in defeat, Patrick walks alongside his friends, held on both sides by Freebots.
PANEL FOUR
His friends look forward with blank eyes.
PANEL FIVE
They pass through a massive crowd of Freebots standing in formation.
The crowd parts to let Patrick, his friends, and his captors through.
They walk toward what looks like a rock concert stage with no style, only function. A giant screen lowers in the back.
PANEL SIX
On the stage is Dad, Grandma, and Cyrus Laghari.
I changed gears to focus on writing a graphic novel. Most of my creative output for the past week has been reading and absorbing the craft of writing comics. Later this week I am going to a local Meetup for comic artists and writers.
Each day I did produce some funny ideas, here are my top five:
* I like a solid belch where you can hear the vocal cords slapping together like a Predator mating call
* Dr Seuss book on pre-teen fashion: Crocs in Socks
* What is the Venn diagram of people with tattoos and car owners with 5+ bumper stickers? Is it just a circle?
* Going to a concert of a band I never heard of is great; I always try to guess who is in the band and who is a roadie.
I'm going to expand the "Dr Seuss Crocs in Socks" idea in case the comics creators at the Meetup want to do a "group project."
I had a slow week because of business related to my martial arts online school, but here are some of the things I wrote down.
The Big Idea: Write a plot outline for “A Christmas Carol Unwoke.” The story rewritten by Ron DeSantis. Scrooge doesn't change from being cruel and greedy to being woke at the end of the book, he doubles down.
A friend completed chemo treatment yesterday for breast cancer. She celebrated with a boob cake. A cake with boobs drawn on it. I was offered some but I just tested the texture and then sucked on the icing for a while.
Ron DeSantis has kicked off his presidential campaign. To celebrate he stood outside a women’s restroom and demanded to check the genitalia of each person trying to enter. Ron sure is obsessed over sexual orientation, isn’t he? Maybe he needs more boob cake.
My wife is meeting some of her girlfriends tonight for dinner. I told her I wish I had some girlfriends to meet for dinner. She said, “Go for it.” That’s the type of communication needed for an enduring marriage.
I got a new iPhone 14 a week ago. Not just an iPhone 14, but an iPhone 14 Pro Max. Yeah, baby. Go big or go home. Now I can join all the younger whippersnappers in taking dick pics. My new phone has a telephoto lens.
I heard someone talk about an older friend who has a serious illness and is "actively dying." What a strange phrase. "Actively dying." Are they taking up jogging? Handball? Thinking, "Well, time to die so let's hop on this recumbent bike and get it over with." (Expand this more into a bit)
I don't have time to die. I can be dead when I'm dead.
Another interesting phrase is, "He up and died." Really? He up and died? Seems like he died and down. (Play with this idea)
I'd walk a mile to get a mile away from you.
That's not a very good list. I need to write more this week. I'm also writing my philosophical memoir. I wrote a chapter about my parents and grandparents. The lead paragraph in the chapter is:
My mother had a tendency to throw shoes. She was born in a tiny town called Wayland in the hills of Eastern Kentucky in 1933 to a family in which alcoholism, domestic violence and shoe-throwing were skills carefully handed down from one generation to the next. She could whip a high-heeled shoe across a living room floor with the accuracy of a master ninja hurling a throwing star. My dad’s head was one of her favorite targets, and she could open up a gash. My mother’s name was Clotine, pronounced “Clo-teen,” and she was the only woman I ever met with that name. One was enough.