Pure delight Mike Sacks managed to get a once-in-a-lifetime interview with reclusive Simpsons writer John Swartzwelder a few years ago. The full interview is in The New Yorker.
The following excerpt needs to be screamed from the rooftops to every writer, every day:
“Since writing is very hard and rewriting is comparatively easy and rather fun, I always write my scripts all the way through as fast as I can, the first day, if possible, putting in crap jokes and pattern dialogue—‘Homer, I don’t want you to do that.’ ‘Then I won’t do it.’
“Then the next day, when I get up, the script’s been written. It’s lousy, but it’s a script. The hard part is done. It’s like a crappy little elf has snuck into my office and badly done all my work for me, and then left with a tip of his crappy hat. All I have to do from that point on is fix it.
“So I’ve taken a very hard job, writing, and turned it into an easy one, rewriting, overnight. I advise all writers to do their scripts and other writing this way. And be sure to send me a small royalty every time you do it.”
To see the fruits of Swartzwelder’s process, watch any of the Simpsons episodes he wrote.
You can also read his many self-published novels.
His body of work, especially the novels, offers a strange and wonderful look inside the brain of a one-of-a-kind master of the craft.
Nothing cures the blank page jitters like vomit!
I remember reading that interview. That piece of advice stuck with me, although I forgot the part about blaming the crappy first draft on the crappy little elves. I’m relieved to have scapegoats now.