We pursue the thing we think we want. Sometimes we do it for years, with dogged persistence.
Sometimes, after years of dogged persistence, we realize we didn’t even want the thing we were working for. So many times, we pursue a thing because society, family, or other unseen pressures compel us, unconsciously.
David Goggins writes motivational books, gives motivational speeches, and serves as a motivational force for those in the depths of dogged persistence. Videos like this one and this one inspire people to power through and get things done in the face of impossible hardship.
His signature message: it’s hard. There will be pain. The trick, he says, is to harden yourself to the pain and keep pushing forward.
It’s a classic Western approach, the idea that pushing against powerful forces is the only way to achieve a thing, like Manifest Destiny.
But what if you’re driving and persisting toward something you don’t really want?
You could try the Eastern approach. You could reflect inward, “go with the flow,” and try to achieve a thing without pushing so hard. You could meditate and let the winds of destiny carry you where they will. But even then, you might still be pursuing a thing you don’t really want.
So how do you know what you really want?
Try to push forward, but then, instead of listening to David Goggins and pushing through the pain, pause and listen to yourself. If the struggle continues to be painful, that’s your subconscious telling you, you don’t really want this.
On the other hand, if pushing toward a thing with dogged persistence is not painful, but instead fun, energizing, and irresistible, that’s your subconscious telling you, you want this.
Your love of the thing—your passion for it—will mask any pain.
That’s how you know.
I wonder what it is that is so attractive about listening to the ever ready to perspire Goggins? As a reluctant gym goer, when I hear my coaches talk about Goggins it's usually quite negative and I find myself creating a mental pushback.
I think "I can run a marathon every day at the drop of a hat" and I can swim in ice water. Then my shower get slightly cold and I go back to my warm bed.
Very wise. Another POV that helps me to untangle the think-I-wants from the really-wants is to ask myself whether the pleasure is in the doing or in chasing a result. Pleasure from a positive result wears off quickly. Joy-in-doing bests result-chasing every time.