We’ve all heard of fight-or-flight. We have a proclivity for one or the other (either turn combative or get away) when we experience heightened stress, a perceived threat, or a trauma trigger.
There’s also freeze, which doesn’t get the attention it deserves. It happens to a lot of people when they get on stage for the first time.
And there’s faint, which gets even less attention. Maybe because it’s rare.
What about fawn? You hardly ever hear about it, but you should. It’s a common stress response among people in entertainment.
Because of their place in the dynamic or hierarchy of their family of origin, they learned that doing nice things for people, getting people to like them, and trying to entertain people—fawning—was a way to protect themselves from anger, wrath, or abuse.
Is that why you’re compelled to entertain people, deep down?
It’s why most of us do it, and that’s okay. At least we’re not fainting.
Imagine this…
Imagine not needing to fawn anymore.
Imagine getting enough therapy to heal your childhood trauma. Imagine turning stress or perceived danger into an advantage in your life—an exciting opportunity to be courageous and use the adrenalin to heighten your concentration and boost your energy.
Imagine a favor response, where you feel gratitude for every trigger and see it as an opportunity to strengthen your mental health and prove you aren’t controlled by your fears.
Imagine a faith response, where each trigger bolsters your faith in yourself as someone who can turn a trauma response into something positive.
Imagine a friend response, where you see every perceived danger, threat, or trigger as your friend, showing up to make you perform at your best.
By all means, work on yourself and try to heal your childhood trauma. If you’re lucky enough to succeed and still feel like entertaining people, you’ll be liberated to know you don’t have to do it as a victim anymore.
You can do it because you want to. You can do it because it’s fun.
I love this. Years ago I was involved in comedy with some high level people.... And the backstabbing and merciless fawning over people who could "get you somewhere" was disgusting. I left that particular group citing Steve Martin's album title "comedy isn't pretty." I know that comedians including myself come from effed up backgrounds but... Hey! Like you said... Therapy! And that also I believe allows you to not be "on" all the time, to the relief of your exhausted family and non comedy friends. Great piece.
Article is nice mirror for life today, the writing room has been huge mirror for me to look at myself and my path. After so many years of working on family trauma, there are pit falls on the path of healing, the writing room pushed me to the edge of my self in healthy way, the mirror is very large and can't get around it like a smart rat... being a smart rat there are people and writing room that come into your life and flash a large light and I can't unsee what is shown to myself in a direction I am wanting. Just stopping, looking and asking taking time again to find true north for myself. Thanks all for showing up in the writing room. ED